In the distant past, the extraordinary Pat Benatar sang a hit song called “Love is a Battlefield”. Today, decades later, ordinary people looking for great relationships have been hit with the harsh reality that love is still very much a battlefield.
The whole process of finding, meeting, and maintaining a good relationship with someone remains very much a challenging prospect for many. However, what is the definition of a good relationship? Well, in it’s simplest form, the word “relationship” can be defined as a “connection” between two people. Secondly, the word “good” is simply a synonym for the term “satisfactory”. Therefore, having a good relationship with someone means that you’re experiencing a beneficial connection with someone that you’re very satisfied with.
Are you in a relationship right now? Does this describe you? Are you living in a relationship state of bliss, a relationship state of happiness, a relationship state of peace—or are you at war? Are you living in a Relationship Battleground State?
A Relationship Battleground State is the state of being in a relationship that’s full of constant conflict, frequent fighting, or nonstop debates. If this describes you, and your relationship, it’s important to know some of the possible reasons why you’ve found yourself in this scenario.
First, understand that all relationships are political—in the sense that you are two people (parties) representing your own interests in an attempt to manage (govern) your connection for each other’s mutual benefit (prosperity). Secondly, recognize that you and every person that you meet are Romantic Activists. Each of you are lobbying to make sure that your special interests are represented from the very beginning of the relationship. So with that being the case, you have to always ask yourself:
What do I want out of a potential relationship and how should I approach getting what I want?
In most relationships, people usually try to get what they want by either being political correct or by being politically direct. Romantically speaking, being politically correct means approaching the relationship from a bilateral stance that’s free from bias. However, being politically direct in a relationship means approaching it from a more unilateral and individualized stance.
In every dating/relationship situation, the not-so-good news is that you must always choose whether it’s best to follow your political convictions or just do what’s politically convenient. But the good news is that the more core compatibility you have with the person you’re dating, the less political directness will be required to keep both of you happy.
Though some may find it hard to believe, men and women in satisfying relationships often live just as much in Blue States as they do in Red States. When relationships are in Red States, this means that they’re burning hot with passion. When relationships are in Blue States, this means that they’re comfortable and cool with contentment. The states that we all want to avoid living in are the purple ones. When relationships live in Purple States, it means that to two parties (people) involved have gotten more bruised by staying together than they probably would be if they were to part ways.
No one wants that.
No one deserves to be in relationships that makes them feel like they’re being beaten black and blue mentally, emotionally, financially, and sometimes sadly—even physically.
Unless you’ve been somehow coerced, had a shotgun wedding, or just gotten married to the mob—you surely realize that entering into relationships are mostly voluntary choices——not decisions made under duress or due to physical threat. You don’t need to have just graduated from an Electoral College to know that in most cases, good relationships are “made” good by how often each person is willing to consistently give out Relationship Stimulus Packages to their significant other.
All Relationship Stimulus Packages include sizable provisions of Sanction, Security, Sustenance, and Sentiment. Prodigious portions of these four “S” words make up the bulk of all good relationships that are successful in the long term.
Actually, just like in a Presidential Election Campaign, it’s possible for you to use a formula to see just how clearly certain emotional relationship “states” can add up to either success or failure. In fact, let’s do the math:
How to have an argument!
How to have a fight!
How to be happy and live in peace.
Nevertheless, what do you do when you’re in an embattled relationship that you still feel is worth staying in? If this is the case, your best strategy is to just address the primary issues head on. Many times, a frank, honest conversation motivated by good intentions can bring about a satisfying resolution.
Believe it or not, people can sometimes “feel” your intentions—and they can sometimes discern the spirit behind your actions. So, if you can confront dating/relationship problems with the objective of reaching an agreement as opposed to just trying to place blame—it can increase your chances of declaring a ceasefire on the couple conflict and legislate peace in your relationship.
This is the best strategy for couples to use to move their relationships from ALTERED states, to SWING states, and then hopefully, ultimately—back to more UNITED states.
You are, in effect, the President of your own Relationship State. You are presiding over your dating, relationship, and love life. No matter how bad you may think things may be—you always have a say. You always have the right to cast a vote for your own happiness. When it comes to getting what you want out of any relationship, always know that every shared experience is like continuously running for office. So, if you want to make sure that you’re happy and that you remain happy, always remember to vote early—-and vote often!
~Victory Unlimited © 2012
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