This Letter to Headquarters comes from Larry. He’s 20, from Miami, Florida:
So I met this girl at a game last week. It was really crowded and loud—so we just exchanged numbers and I told her I’d text her later. So that’s what I did. For almost a week straight, I texted her stuff about how good it was to meet her. I texted her about how attractive I thought she was. I texted her stuff about me that I thought would make her see me in ways that I thought were unique—so she wouldn’t forget about me.
I even finally got around to texting her to come go out on a date with me for next Saturday. Actually, I texted her to come hang out with me at least twice, but she didn’t respond to that one. Come to think of it: She barely responded to any of my texts. When I first met her, she seemed like she really wanted to get with me, but you’d never know it by the way she rarely responds to my texts.
Why do you think she’s playing these texting games, V.U.?
Victory Unlimited writes:
Larry, it looks like you’re a victim of “Death by Texting”. What I mean by that is this:
“You text too much! So NO GIRL for you!”
Okay, all old Seinfeld show, joke references aside, did it ever dawn on you that maybe you should have tried to pick up the phone at some point and actually just “call” her instead? I know…I know…what a concept. My squad of fact checkers here just ran a word count report and it says here that you’re so addicted to texting that you used the word “text” almost ten times in just that one email alone.
Put the SMS (short message service) down, Larry.
Step away from texting, Larry.
Never rely solely on one way of communicating with women, my man. You got more weapons in your communication arsenal than that, don’t you? You asked why “she” was playing texting games, but my question to you is why are “you” playing texting games. Or is it Hide-and-Seek that you’re really playing?
You said yourself that you finally texted her out. You “texted” her out? Sounds to me like you’re hiding behind texting as a way to make a move on her—without coming all the way out and boldly making a move on her. If that’s the case, your primary objective should be to overcome your fear. Stop texting girls out because you’re too scared to call and ask them out. Why? Because sometimes by choosing what you think is the safest, most convenient, most distant way of asking a woman out—it can make you look weak in her eyes.
Judging from your email, you come across as if you’re actually too scared to pick up the phone to call a woman who freely gave you her number. It’s possible that by you texting her so “much” and her texting you back so “little”. you might have said something via text that might have turned her off. However, we’ll never know because she never responded. What men need to realize is that getting to know a woman is like a campaign—a political campaign, a military campaign, or even an advertising campaign. But for the sake of time, let me just explain it to you from an advertising perspective:
Meeting somebody new and getting the opportunity to keep making their acquaintance is like marketing—continuous marketing—a marketing campaign. But never forget that the product that you’re selling is YOU. What you’re trying to do is get the woman to buy you. Or, to put it another way, what you’re trying to do is get her to buy “into” you. However, you can’t always make just one big pitch or bombard them with a bunch of ads and expect them to buy you. You have to space it out and mix it up. You hear what I’m saying to you?
A lot of women tend to start buying into you when they get a chance to reflect on, or imagine all the good times that the two of you have together now, or could have together in the future. However, you two never reached that point. You only “know” her through texting—and what’s worse, it’s mostly just a one-sided conversation because you’re the only one “talking”. By texting her nonstop, with a bunch of small talk about small things—you chose to never take it to the next level by doing the “big” thing, which is the “best” thing—which would have been calling her and asking her out.
It’s possible that too much text and not enough talk worked against you. Think about it: Every time she looked down at her phone and read a text from you about EVERYTHING in general and NOTHING in particular—you lost. Why? That’s because apparently none of what you wrote advanced the conversation by inspiring her to text you back, call you, or go out with you.
However, you’re not the only one who lost—she lost too. She lost her time—because you were wasting it. She lost her chance to sit and “wonder” about you, because you kept texting her everything on your mind. And worse than everything else, you’ll never really know if she gave you her number because she really was interested—or just because she gives her number out to guys all the time whether she’s really interested in them or not. You see, if you would have just called to talk to her instead, there would be no mystery to solve.
Most likely, only one of four things would have happened if you would had called her:
Number One – She would have seen you calling, never answered, and hoped you’d get the hint that she wasn’t really interested in you—and therefore, eventually STOP calling her.
Number Two – She would have talked to you, showed you that she was annoyed that you called her, and thereby send you the passive aggressive message that she didn’t really want to go out with you.
Number Three – She would have talked to you, “acted” like she was interested, but make up all kinds of excuses NOT to go out with you—thus “proving” that she really wasn’t interested in getting to know you in the first place.
Or Number Four – She would have talked to you, been glad to hear from you, and eventually went out with you.
But guess what? We may never really know why she never returned your texts because that’s all you ever did—send texts. The wisest thing to do in this scenario is to just interpret her lack of response as a “No, I’m not interested” and then go out immediately and find you a girl who “is” interested. And from this point on, never use texting as a communication crutch, because sometimes too many texts can lead to no GIRL, no DATE, no INTEREST, and no SEX.
~Victory Unlimited © 2013
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