This Letter to Headquarters comes from Alfredo. He’s 32, from Houston, Texas:
I work at a company on the outskirts of the city. For lunch, I only get 30 minutes, so there’s not a lot of choices near my job except for a couple of pretty good fast food places. Anyway, at one of these restaurants that I go to, there’s this absolutely gorgeous, curvy chick that works there.
She’s one of the managers, but I guess because of how busy that place stays around lunchtime, she actually helps work the drive thru window most days too. Though I do like the food, I have to confess that the main reason I’m in that drive thru 4 or 5 times a week is just to chit chat with her while she’s looking back at me with those big, pretty eyes.
I would just love to ask her out or spend more time with her, but that place is so busy and the lines are so long that it never seems like the right time for me to make my move. I’ve been going by there for almost 2 months straight now and I still haven’t found an opportunity to just ask her out like I want to.
Usually while she’s handing me my food, we just talk about random things while I’m waiting—-but never anything really personal. Sometimes when I’m flirting with her, it seems like she’s flirting with me back. But other times it seems like she’s just being friendly and nice. She’s hard to read sometimes. To make matters more complicated: On the one hand, I want to get with her. But on the other hand, I don’t want to ask her out, get rejected, and then have to avoid going through that drive thru anymore out of embarrassment.
I feel like I’m just caught in an endless loop trying to make a decision because I’m not getting anywhere—and it’s frustrating the hell out of me.
So tell me:
How should a guy go about getting a date with a Drive-Thru-Diva?
Photo by Sharon Drummond
Victory Unlimited writes:
First off, you have to decide which appetite you want to satisfy the most—your hunger for food or your hunger for feminine companionship? Recognize that anytime you choose to mix your everyday life with your dating life, there’s always the risk of potential complications. However, it appears that you may actually be over-thinking this situation and turning a simple, sincere expression of your desire for you and this woman to get better acquainted into a “do or die” scenario.
This may come as a shock to you, but your obsessive preoccupation with winning or losing the Drive-Thru-Diva’s interest is not that big of a deal. One reason why you’re putting “extras” on the outcome of your pursuit of her might be because you’ve waited so long to make a romantic move on her. There’s an old cliché that says “Study long, study wrong”, and this truism aptly describes your situation.
Whenever you identify a woman that you’re romantically interested in, it’s always best to make a definitive show of romantic interest sooner rather than later. Why? That’s because the longer you wait to clearly paint a picture of how you want her to perceive you, the more time she’ll have to label you in ways that you probably DO NOT want to be perceived—such as “customer” or asexual “nice guy”.
Bear in mind, making a move on a woman is not the same thing as making a “desperate” move. There’s always a way to express your interest in women clearly and confidently while still remaining composed. This should be your objective not only with the Drive-Thru-Diva—but with all women. It’s always better to “blow out” as a man than to be “blown off” as less than one.
You’re a 30 year-old man that’s been dating for a lot of years now, so you should know by now that a half-assed approach to getting with women will usually yield some half-assed results. Demure, duplicitous dating tactics almost never get you the type of relationship success that you want.
In regards to the Drive-Thru-Diva, understand that if she’s half as attractive to other men as she is to you—she probably has guys trying to hit on her all day every day. But the potential good news for you is that most of these guys are just “faces in the crowd” too. Recognize that many guys (and just most people in general) naturally opt to take the path of least resistance and choose the easy way out when it comes to meeting new people.
In this war to get dates, these guys are Sunshine Soldiers. They won’t make bold moves on women unless all the circumstances are perfect and until they have absolutely no doubt as to the outcome of their advances. Some women can spot these guys very quickly, which is why they classify their approaches as indecisive at best and cowardly at worse.
You see, rather than opting to be direct about their romantic intentions towards women, these guys instead choose to:
- Hide behind the steering wheel of their cars—ready to speed away to safety at the first sign that a woman may be about to reject them
- Drop subtle, indirect hints to women without ever coming out and expressing their true romantic intentions
- Avoid talking to women face-to-face by choosing to just text them all the time instead
- Use lame, over-the-top, pickup lines to try to impress women instead of just engaging them in a true conversation. Example: “Hey baby, do fries go with that shake??”
- Or, just keep small-talking and hanging out with women in hopes that the women will eventually just decide to make a move on them instead
All of the above are examples are behaviors that cause some women to romantically turnoff towards certain guys or just not take them seriously in the first place. Do you want to be categorized that way? Do you want to be just another guy circling her fast food place like a land-shark—buzzing around like a directionless drone, waiting your turn in line to be shot down like probably so many guys ahead of you?
No. Don’t be that guy. Do whatever you need to do to stand out from the crowd. Don’t just be a “male”, but be a man. Be a man who knows what he wants, and shows it by fearlessly and decisively going after the woman he wants.
Unless, she has made it blatantly obvious that she’s unashamedly attracted to you—don’t even try to ask her out while in the drive-thru unless you absolutely have no other choice.
Here are the three steps you should take in order to improve your chances of successfully asking out the Drive-Thru-Diva:
- Go inside the restaurant—if you’re able to do so
- Get her attention by making good eye contact and see if you can pull her to the side
- Ask her out or just ask her for her number—whichever option is the most appropriate depending on the circumstance
If you follow the three steps above, you’ll more than likely only get one of three responses:
“No, I’m not interested.” (In which case, you’ll know to move on with your life.)
“I don’t know. I might be interested. But I’ll take YOUR number instead.” (Vague answers should always be interpreted as a veiled “No”. If you get one of these, whether you choose to give her your number or not—still move on with your life until she actually calls you. However, odds are she won’t.)
“Yes, I’m interested.” (In which case, it’s on—so keep advancing with her to accomplish your romantic objective.)
Know that no matter which type of response she gives you—you’ll have your answer, the question marks will be erased, and you’ll have some form of closure. There is peace and honor in going for what you want, and that’s ultimately what you’re after. At least, by making a bold decisive move, you play an active role in your dating destiny and can assert a certain level of influence on the timeline.
Life is short. You’re a man. She’s a woman. Most men cannot go too far wrong by making a decisive, cool, confident, and respectful move on a woman. And if you’re able to inject just a little humor in the situation, then your chances of success will probably increase even more.
Any woman that you’re attracted to enough to want to approach is also worth the risk of perceived “rejection”. Recognize that the word rejection was previously place in quotes because:
If you’re a man who is content and confident in who you are, and your motivations for approaching a woman is above-board and sincere, then you should never interpret a woman declining your date offer as a rejection. Why? Because from your point of view, asking a woman out on a date should just be your way of giving her an opportunity to enjoy YOUR company—not just the other way around.
Victory Unlimited © 2013
Featured Photo by Tom Magliery
Fan Favorite Shows:
- How to Stop making Dumb Moves with Smartphones!
- Help! My Girlfriend is in Love with a Bad Boy-Thug-Criminal!
- Occupy Wal-Mart: The New Dating Movement!
- Why would any guy “in his right mind” EVER settle for a relationship like THIS???
- What do you do when your NEXT Girlfriend is an “EX-ed” Girlfriend?
- How a Player can get captured by “the Game!”