Mission #36 – Objective: How to stop making Dumb Moves with Smart Phones!

By   4 War Room Comments

On this Mission

What do you do when your Android phone malfunctions on a date?

  • What’s the worst thing that can happen if you leave your smartphone at the table on a date?
  • What is “Player Prison”? Have you ever been convicted and done time for a love crime that you didn’t commit? 
  • How can the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past come back and haunt you through smartphone technology? 
  • What is the Osmosis App? And why is it that so many guys need to download it?

What is…Death by Texting?

  • Is it better to call a woman you just met or text her?
  • Is it a weak move to ask a girl out on a first date by texting her?
  • Can sending one text too many kill a woman’s initial attraction for you?
  • What does a marketing campaign and the process of making a woman fall in love with you have in common? How do you make a woman “buy into you”?
  • What are the 4 ways that most women usually respond when you call them and ask them out on a date?

Have you ever been IPhone Jacked?

  • What makes a woman so angry that she steals your phone just to get access to all your contacts, photos, and passwords?
  • Why should watching at least one episode of “Snapped” be required viewing for most guys?
  • What is it that men do to cause women to turn into high-tech stalkers?


What do you do when you have a Bad Connection?

  • What do you do when you’re dating a woman who’s more into Social Media than she’s into you?
  • What are the Rules of Engagement when it comes to using smartphones on a date?
  • What can Eddie Griffin’s joke about Alexander Graham Bell and the invention of the telephone teach you about how interested a woman is in you?
  • What’s the best way to cut down on the amount of smartphone interruptions you experience on a date?

How do you stop making Dumb moves with Smart Phones?

  • Should you always do everything a woman wants you to do in the beginning of a new relationship?
  • What can Sci-Fi movies teach you about how dangerous the combination of women and technology really is?
  • What does it mean to “Text Responsibly?”
  • Find out all this and MORE on today’s show!

The Top Ten Dumbest Moves that Daters Make with Smartphones:

  • Keeping your phone out on the table, checking your messages, and texting other people while you’re out on a date with someone. (This is the fastest way to make the other person feel disrespected, marginalized, and ignored by you. So much so, that if they were to decide to get up and walk out on you—you’d probably deserve it!)
  • Saving the side dude’s or side chick’s phone number that you’re cheating with in your phone’s contact list as “Mom”. (Hey, we know that ain’t your momma calling you that damn much!)
  • Calling someone you’re romantically interested in and trying to talk sexy to them while you’re using the bathroom. (Yes, we know that you’re actually in there tinkling or taking a crap because we heard that telltale, bathroom echo sound over the phone the second you first stepped in there!)
  • Entering a new relationship, but forgetting to delete all the old “Not-Safe-for-Work” pictures still in your phone of people from your past relationships. (You’d be surprised to know just how many folks sabotage potentially good new relationships by failing to thoroughly throw out the “electronic” trash from their old ones.)
  • Texting people to ask them out on dates instead of calling them. (Men: Just in case no one ever told you, this makes you look lame, timid, and weak in the eyes of many women.)
  • Leaving your phone unattended and unprotected while you’re out on dates with random new people. (These days, when most people keep and conduct the majority of their personal business on their Smartphones, leaving your phone lying around is just asking to have your secrets exposed and your identity stolen.)
  • Living with someone, but still cheating on them while you’re supposedly in an exclusive relationship. (Once your live-in lover starts to suspect you of cheating, it’s only a matter of time before you make a mistake one day and leave your phone unlocked. And when this happens, that’ll be the same day that your faithful partner will use your phone to callback every single number in your contact list until they find out who the hell you’re cheating on them with!)
  • Obsessively taking sexually provocative Selfies and constantly posting them up on Social Media multiple times a day. (Women: Just in case no one ever told you, this makes you look like conceited, attention junkies addicted to getting “Likes” from a legion of lustful losers in the eyes of many men.)
  • Texting someone you’re interested in a million times a day, and then getting mad when they don’t text you back right away. (Hard Core Truth: Absence makes the heart grow fonder—but no one likes a pest. How can the other person ever even begin to “miss you” when you’re always blowing up their phone 24/7?)
  • Failing to realize that the best use of Smartphone technology is to facilitate and enhance the value of face-to-face romantic relationships, not replace them. (Enough said!)



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War Room Comments

4 Responses to Mission #36 – Objective: How to stop making Dumb Moves with Smart Phones!

  1. Reginald DMX says:

    Hey V.U., this whole show was great. But the smartphone chick’s response toward the end was…PRICELESS! Keep droppin’ them bombs, my man.

  2. Thanks guys. I’m trying to find an “app” right now to download that’ll make guys smarter than their smartphones. Something like that has to exist, right? I still have yet to find one, but I’m gonna keep looking though…

  3. Red Runner says:

    Hey V.U., I found out about your show over on Reddit. Love the pseudo-military, super hero self-help vibe. Your show is funny as hell, man. I gotta say: I heard a lot of shows and yours is one of a kind. You’re on a whole other level than most of these tired ass, lame ass blogs and podcasts that don’t have anything new to say. And you even have a way of saying things that make me think of a lot of life and relationship things in a whole new way. Consider me as part of your army, soldier. Good site!

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