As I lock and load in preparation to come out blasting on the next broadcast of the Victory Unlimited Show, I wanted to take the time to come here and set off this “Quick & Dirty” Knowledge Bomb for the benefit of all my supporters, listeners, and readers.
Use the following Intel for the purposes of Self-Analysis!
I’m often asked the question:
Why do nice guys seem to finish last with women while jerks tend to be successful?
Well, the answer is multi-layered, but still simplistic enough for me to communicate quickly.
First, let’s define a few terms. Depending on whom you ask, the definition of “Jerks”, “Nice Guys”, and “Respectable Men” will be vastly different. But I’m not concerned with the meaning that others attach to these guys. For our purposes; here are the definitions that we will use:
- Nice Guys care more about pleasing women than they do about pleasing themselves.
- Jerks care more about pleasing themselves than they do about pleasing women.
- Respectable Men care just as much about pleasing themselves as they do about pleasing women.
It’s just that simple, really. But right now, let’s shift our focus off the Respectable Men and set our sights onto the Jerks and Nice Guys.
Jerks go by many names. Depending on what circles you travel in, you may hear them called A-holes, bad boys, thugs, or players. Bear in mind, many of these names aren’t always exact synonyms——-but they do represent a certain typology in the minds of those in the process of doing the “name calling”.
In fact, in the Victory Unlimited Battle Plan, Jerks are swallowed up in a broader rank of men that I refer to as REBELS.
I only choose to refer to them here as “jerks” in an effort to use a term that most “civilians” who may read this post will recognize.
But anyway, let’s continue.
Jerks, or whatever you want to call them, are mainly successful with women because they have an overabundance of two qualities:
Comfortability and Confidence.
Jerks have the ability to unashamedly be themselves around even the most attractive of women. And while they’re in the process of “being themselves”, they’re also not afraid to “ask for” or “go for” what they want FROM those women. In other words, these guys are comfortable in their own skin and confident to the nth degree when it comes to trying to get into that woman’s “skin” (so to speak…).
On the other hand, many Nice Guys who are genuinely good guys lack both of these qualities when they’re in the company of women that they find attractive. Nice guys tend to repel the very women they want to attract because they ARE so “uncomfortable” around these women and lack the confidence to speak or act out their true intentions towards them.
So, two guys walk into a bar…WAIT! That sounds too much like the set up for a joke, doesn’t it? But hang on…because it’s actually not. Let’s continue…
Two guys walk into a bar or a party, or a conference. One of them is a Jerk and the other one is a Nice Guy———but BOTH of them see the same girl at the same time and BOTH of them are attracted to her. What will usually happen in a dating battlefield-type scenario such as this? Well, nine times out of ten, the Nice Guy will freeze up like a deer caught in the headlights at the very sight of this “curvy-licious” woman. Meanwhile, the Jerk, on the other hand——-will leap into action! However, oftentimes, the things he says or the things he does comes across so brash and so bold that a good number of women are turned off by his approach——–but NOT ALL.
No doubt, quite a few women will go for him over the Nice Guy, regardless of how inappropriately that particular Jerk comes at them. You see, a Jerk wins out over the Nice Guy in the eyes of many women simply because he, at the very least, had the guts to ACT on his desires while the nice guy didn’t!
Like it or not, most women prefer to play the passive role when it comes to meeting a guy, hooking up with a guy, or even starting a conversation with a guy. Like it or not, political correctness and some of the more radical branches of Feminism-Gone-Wild have not managed to extinguish the innate desire in most women to prefer to make “gestures” while we men take “actions”.
That’s just the way it is, soldiers. Accept it. Deal with it. And the best way to do this is to live by the mantra that Clint Eastwood’s “Gunny Highway” character used to repeat all the time in the movie Heartbreak Ridge:
But what do I mean by this? Well, it’s simple. If you’re currently what I’ve just defined as a Nice Guy, understand that you don’t actually have to become a Jerk to jerk the women that you want away from those guys. All you have to do is remind yourself of who YOU are, whenever you’re in the presence of an attractive woman.
Do you understand me?
Remind yourself that you’re a man with all the proper tools he needs to be just as successful with women as the next guy——even the “jerk guy”. The only thing that differentiates YOU from those guys is their ability to be comfortable in their own skin and their willingness to be upfront and straightforward about their desire for that woman. And how do you do this?
How do you remind yourself of this? By RESPECTING yourself.
A man who respects himself KNOWS that he is a man of value who is WORTHY of any woman he chooses to approach.
And a man who respects himself also loves himself enough, and cares enough about himself enough to take whatever steps may be necessary to FULFILL himself.
A man who respects himself learns to look at the women he meets NOT like they’re just gracing HIM with their presence, but also like he’s gracing THEM with “his” presence too.
This is the definition of a respectable MAN. This is the solid middle ground between Jerk and Nice Guy upon which a man of honor——–who honors “himself” should seek to stand. This is the High Ground, actually. This is a place of prominence upon which worthy women will be able to see him standing out from among all the rest. And if you are such a man…if you are a man who has reached that higher ground, the likelihood of most clinically sane women choosing you (a Respectable Man) over a Nice Guy or a Jerk is EXTREMELY HIGH.
The Nice Guy would be too scared of her to get with her.
The Jerk would be bold enough to get her, but too overbearing to keep her.
But the Respectable Man would be bold enough to approach her and have enough self-awareness and self-control to keep her———-and that’s only “if’ he decides he really wants her.
To put it simply:
A Respectable Man wins out over Jerks and Nice Guys because he knows his actions are always coming from a place of respect for that woman AND just as importantly——–from a place of respect for HIMSELF.